You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
