So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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