So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.