It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
if you like me you must not know who I am
oh good, I think they're gone
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?