We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We need to get me chipped asap