Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
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You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize