dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
