Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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