He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Panties = found
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
