There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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