He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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