he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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