Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
