I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize