see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
