all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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