U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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