what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
