well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
