my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
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He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
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I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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