wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
