you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
