I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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