1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
and you fell through a lawn chair
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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