Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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