I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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