so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
