OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You are the jesus of drinking
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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