you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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