part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
