Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
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