This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
