Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
