I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
