I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
