omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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