Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize