i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
How does one acquire holy water?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize