This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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