hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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