dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
