do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
