Just mADE A PArabola og urine
im six kinds of drunk right now
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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