Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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