I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
