After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
