Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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