This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
