fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
