halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We have started to decorate penises.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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