So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
