I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
