You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
