my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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