she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
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I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize