I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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