I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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