I think im going to throw up on grandma
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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