i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick