yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Randomize
