i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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