I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
